I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
