two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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