Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize