he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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