"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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