i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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