guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
