i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
