so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
