dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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