I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
