can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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