Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
