I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
