All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
