Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize