I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
