just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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