I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
