Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
