Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
