Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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