he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
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Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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