This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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