Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
