As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
