Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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