I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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