he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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