DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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