he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
