I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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