so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
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Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
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I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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