the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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