You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
