OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
