I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
