i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
