Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
