The maid of honor just puked.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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