My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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