My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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