Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize