Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
wanna go halves on a baby?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize