Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
