Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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