Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
