his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
