I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
