one two three fourrrrnication!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
