she was so not down for the gang bang
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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