im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
