I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
