Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
