i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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