dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
