When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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