he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
