Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the day after is always just damage control
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
