Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
