I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
