True but thats because hes a fetus.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
