I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
